ufacmaster666

Well you know I only write in here when I'm depressed, anxious, bothered, or angry, so here I am again.  Frustrated this time.  It's been a little bit since I've been super down (I mean, there have been several days, but nothing as prolonged as in first semester); just kind of dissatisfied in general, I'd say.  A general unease.  I've made some new friends, but the more time I spend with them the more worried I get.  They are all (extremely) heavy drinkers, and the few that aren't are heavy drug users, turns out.  Kid I liked (I refer to him as so-and-so) hung out with me yesterday for a few hours, said he'd see me later at our friends' show, and showed up tripping (he had dropped sometime between when I saw him first and the show).  He was like a fucking zombie.  And he's really frustrating in general; he gives me little hints that he's into me, but his body language is all off.   I can't figure out if he's shy, afraid, stupid, or disinterested.  Which has kind of been where I've been at for the past few weeks.  Just like... I wish I had an answer.  I thought I had one the other night, but it got all confused and now I'm right back where I started.  I was at a party, had a bit to drink, drunk texted him (stupid, of course) that I wanted to see him, and didn't hear back from him until like, 2 A.M. (I had texted him at 10:45 or so).  He's one of those people that if, for example, you text him, "I really want to see you tonight, when do you get back?", he will not text you, "Oh, at around two or so", he will wait until two and then text you that he's back.  Which is infinitely frustrating.  So here I am, all night believing that I've gotten my answer (oh, he's just not interested.  Sucks, but there it is, at least), when I wake up the next morning with a text from 2 A.M. saying, "hey, i just got back, are you awake?"  No respect.  Bastard.  As far as I'm concerned, if he's not chasing me, or making some sort of effort (making ME do ALL of the work), he's just A. not interested, or, more importantly, B. not worth my time.

Which is what I've been saying for the past two-three weeks.  And here I am.  GET ON IT, BOY, OR GET OFF ALTOGETHER.

Fuck.

Ughhhhhhh now I'm too irritated to do anything.  Motherfucker.